Mercury in Your Light Bulbs

Can it be that the diminutive, unassuming, intestine-like Compact Fluorescent Light Bulb is really going to be the single-most important piece of technology in saving ourselves from ourselves? Is the path to a greener, more eco-groovy future to be lit by the Al Gore, Leo DiCaprio (and my mother-in-law) endorsed CFL? This little greenhouse-gas-buster seems to have everything going for it.
One of those things it has is that it takes electricity and actually turns it into light, which is not something that can be said for the incandescent bulb, which turns 90 percent of the energy it consumes into heat. Another is that a CFL lasts, like, eight times longer than an incandescent bulb. And, even though you pay more for a CFL up front, all of the experts in white lab coats tell us that a CFL will save you 30 bucks in energy costs over the life of the bulb as compared to the old school Thomas Edison model. There is no denying (unless you are really bad at math and are very stubborn) that if everyone started using CFLs there would be a significant reduction in greenhouse gas emissions (lighting accounts for about 10 percent of all household electricity usage), and that the polar bears would dance clumsy polar bear dances of joy on their non-melting icebergs. Also, if there were ever any doubts as to the mainstream viability of the CFL, let those be banished by Wal-Mart’s commitment to sell 100 million of them this year.
Thanks to the CFL, you can save money as you save the planet. So if you already happen to have a shopping cart filled with typical Wal-Mart fare (maybe a shotgun, toilet paper, Cinderella underpants, goldfish, hair dye, and a bocce ball set) throw in a pack of planet-saving light bulbs, too.
There is just one little hang-up. Mercury. Not the planet. The element – it’s used to make CFLs, and is somewhere in those twisty little white tubes doing something important. I don’t know what it’s doing… reacting with ultraviolet light? Exciting the white phosphor? Whatever it’s purpose, work hard to make sure that it keeps doing that thing and does not get spread all over the kitchen floor in a tragic accident involving gravity and clumsiness and dropped light bulbs. But even if a little mercury does end up on the kitchen floor, the US Environmental Protection Agency says not to freak out. Just sweep and ventilate. There is not enough mercury in a single bulb to warrant deployment of the Haz-Mat team.
The real problem is in the landfills where all of the 3.3 mg of mercury per old broken bulb could add up to potentially significant environmental problems (not global warming, though). So, when you are all finished with your CFLs, after they have flickered their last flicks, make sure that they do not end up in the trash with regular waste that you just throw into the landfill, like, you know, batteries and paint thinner. We don’t want lots of mercury floating around out there causing things like neurological disorders, speech impairment, muscle weakness, and decreasing cognitive function. That would be bad.
But listen, don’t get too agitated about a little mercury in your light bulbs. You can still save the planet. Make the trip to the city yard on that schedule hazardous materials disposal day. Or, even better, go to IKEA (the only retailer offering the service) to turn in your old CFLs for proper disposal and recycling. While you are there, you can hit the cafeteria and enjoy the kid’s Mac and Cheese for 95 cents among the brightly colored disposable furniture. Feel good. Be satisfied. The polar bears are dancing.